Keeping. A journal

Maybe it is about time to write sth everyday instead of wandering on the Internet@@
So may it begin

Final Eve

Gee,I am so afraid!
I can not stand another failure.
God bless me! I really need some luck here! I have done what I can !
It is all up to fate now!
However, I know I can do it
I can do it
I can do it
I can do it
I can do it

is there heaven upon me

I screwed up again! I mistaken lecture by the passage I read! I hope it still count! I feel like that I Am a walking dead .oh gosh

Suffering

Babe,u are damn right! I haven't really devoted myself to anything. I earned everything by some kind of luck or blessing! Looking back these two years ,I realize I should grow up .my doom is near,I may be terminated in these days.but I have learned how to be strong,I won't be afraid of it!I will fight ,I am not a lost cause.I do not want to end like this,being humiliated and feeling powerless. The strong do what they will!

Last typhoon in Japan

Gee. I don"t know how to describe my mixed feeling
I gonna leave Japan soon
But I haven't enjoyed my life here
I have squandered a lot of time
And have panty things which I could do And wanted to do but haven't done at last
Now it doesn't matter anymore !
I beg a happy ending in Japan .
God bless me!

Last typhoon in Japan

Gee. I don"t know how to describe my mixed feeling
I gonna leave Japan soon
But I haven't enjoyed my life here
I have squandered a lot of time
And have panty things which I could do And wanted to do but haven't done at last
Now it doesn't matter anymore !
I beg a happy ending in Japan .
God bless me!

God, help me

Light me up
Cause I can not find my way
Boost me up
Cause I can not force myself work harder
Help me up
Cause I really need some help

I feel totally defeated after last two examinations

I can do better , and I should

一步一步

1号；：44
2号：：55
3号：：43
4号：：58

我可以，我能做到，我不比任何人差

老婆说的对，其实一切都是我的态度问题，为什么那么多人都能托福上一百，gmat上700
为什么我不行
我就没认真对待过这些考试
因为我还没有好好的为了我想要的成绩付出相印的努力
明天开始，去北海道前把单词要背到烂熟
现在面临的都是初中没解决的问题
粗心大意的数学，不想花精力去背的英语单词
态度
我太不够认真了
我自己考不好让父母失望后
他们还想办法安慰我
我还怪我宝宝
Be a better man

I
Feel
I
Lost
My
Ground

噩梦成真520

一个人无力的游荡在东京街头
多次梦见gmat低的吓人的分数
好想有人能安慰我告诉我到底发生了什么
她们却从未怀疑过是我能力的问题
谁能告诉我到底怎么了
谁能告诉我该怎样去做
谁能•••••••••••••••••••••••
520
我自己都疯了
开始怀疑这条路对不对
开始觉得绝望
在御苑门口
我有翻进去的冲动
抓住就抓住吧
就好像考试作verbel的感觉
是自我放逐

无法麻痹对你的思念

今天给宝宝打了很多电话，现在不早了。。就准备看看单词睡觉了
每天晚上自己入睡的时候总是会在之前看电视剧或是动画片
为了麻痹自己不愿意就那么睡了，去面对明天的太阳
没有你的太阳，笼罩在孤单里面的太阳
今天偷偷的提前看了8号宝宝给我的照片
想想快了。。不知道宝贝是怎么应对寂寞的
我不够坚强，只能欺骗逃避
但是一切都不是办法，只能去面对
明天的太阳
因为始终会升起来的
宝贝，我现在学习的时间比以前多了。我会加油的！！管好自己就能成功！！
我爱你。。我能体会你所面对的痛苦
虽然不能给你解药，但是宝宝，希望每天说给你听的我爱你能给你坚持下去的力量

童年的巴赫

现在想起来是很久远的事情了
但是我清楚地记得我第一次弹奏巴赫曲子的时候
母亲脸上杨毅的笑容
也清楚地能够听到从那段岁月里面传来的晌午窗外小孩子的笑声
也能清楚地看到琴键上面滴落的眼泪
现在想起来都是自己不争气
我承认自己是越学越没有成就感
而相反我魔兽打得很棒
让我有了职业玩家的梦想
一切都过去了
那些阮老师来家里教课的日子
那些母亲寒冬酷暑骑自行车驮我去李老师家的日子
那些我多想回去说一句妈妈我爱你的日子

是我不会表达
还是我不敢表达

或许，是我觉得自己不配